


I Waited Too Long

by ExclusiveGorgeousGeek



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Sad, Slight fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 00:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14508876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExclusiveGorgeousGeek/pseuds/ExclusiveGorgeousGeek
Summary: Phil’s moving out.And Dan doesn’t think he can live with that.





	I Waited Too Long

Phil's moving out. 

That's been my every waking thought, every second, of every moment for the past three weeks since he told me. 

Phil's leaving. 

I shove my hands in my over sized Adventure Time hoodie and shuffle towards the kitchen, oh wait.  
This is Phil's.  
I'll make sure to give it back to him before....well, yeah.  
Every time I walk past the lounge, I see that giant stack of boxes with 'PHIL' printed on the fronts and I'm forced to remember.  
I stop, shutting my eyes and let out a long breath, I didn't realize I had been holding. 

This can't be real. 

I slowly open my eyes as I hear something hit the floor downstairs, followed by a mumbling of replacement swear words.  
A small grin creeps on my face, but leaves just as quickly as it came.  
I take a few steps into the kitchen, Phil already  
packed what was his in here.

I blame myself. 

I walk in to see he left some coffee in the pot.  
I'm not a big coffee person, but today is the exception.  
I reach up to grab one of the mugs left out of the almost empty cabinet.

I should have told him

I bring the cup of hot liquid up to my lips as I see a figure out of the corner of my eye carrying a box over to the pile by the door.  
I breathe deeply and put on a fake smile as I walk over to where Phil stands counting boxes.  
"Hey."  
Phil turns around with a tired smile.  
"Hey."  
I take a sip of my coffee, holding the warm cup between my cold hands.  
"How's it coming?"  
"I should be finished by the time the truck comes at noon."  
I look down at my shoes as I feel tears start to well in my eyes. 

I waited too long. 

"I- uhm-thought the truck wasn't coming till this evening."  
"Yeah," He says bending down to write 'lighting' on the box lid in sharpie, "they called this morning to say they had to move it up. They double booked."  
I give him a small nod, although he's not looking.  
"Oh." Is all I can manage to get out, afraid my voice will crack if I try to say much else. 

I missed my chance

Phil gives me a small nod as he stands back up and heads back down the stairs.  
I just stare at the black sharpie sitting on the floor.  
Funny how a thousand memories can come flooding back all because of a stupid marker.  
"Dan?"  
I shake my head and look up at my beautiful blue eyed....friend.  
Phil's eyes gloss over mine as he sets down another box, his eyes full of worry,  
"You okay?"  
I nod, gripping the mug with both hands to stop them from trembling.  
"You sure? I called your name like five times."  
"Phil, I'm fine. Stop worrying so much." I say forcing a small smirk. 

I could still tell him. 

Phil walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder, sending waves of what feels like electricity coursing through my body.  
Thats not a new feeling.  
It happens anytime he touches me, or we accidentally brush against one another.  
But this time. This time it's not a feeling of pleasure, no.  
It's a feeling of deep cutting pain.

I have to give him up. 

"You'd tell me if something was wrong right?"  
Phil asks, studying my features for any falter as I answer.  
"Of course." I say with a weak smile.  
Phil smiles back and nods.  
After hiding your true feelings for 9 years, you get good at it. 

I can't do that to him. 

I would rather suffer everyday, then ruin this for him.  
I watch as Phil carries the last box up, taking in everything about him.  
They way he walks, every beautiful freckle on his face and arms, the way his black framed glasses make his eyes look twice as blue, his pale blemish free skin, the way he runs his hand through his hair when his tired, styling it into a fluffy quiff.  
My whole world goes deafening silent. 

There's a knock at the door. 

It's like I'm constantly falling down a hole and I can't find the way to stop. The hole never ending. 

I love him too much. 

I pull my self together as Phil nudges me with a smile to help carry boxes to the moving truck out front. 

"Well....god this is a lot harder then I could have ever imagined" Phil says bringing his eyes up to meet mine as he stands outside our apartment door. 

My apartment door.

"I don't even know what to say." He says with a weak smile as his eyes start to fill with tears.  
"Phil, I-" Is all I can get out before completely falling apart in his arms.  
"I'm going to miss you damn much." I mumble into his shoulder as he pulls me closer.  
"You have no idea" He says wrapping his arms around me even tighter.  
In that moment there was no way we could be close enough.  
I hear a faint honking coming from downstairs.  
He pulls away, wiping his teary eyes quickly with his hands as I do the same.  
"I still have your hoodie." I say with a weak smile.  
He laughs as the tears full down his pink tinted cheeks, "You keep it. "  
"Call me when you get there, yeah?" I ask with a small sniffily chuckle.

I have to make this easy on him, even if it kills me. 

"Of course I will you dork." Phil says with a weak smile in return as he runs his sleeve under my wet eyes, then pulling me in for one last hug.

I never want to let go. 

"I love you, Phil." I say, while breathing in his scent for the last time.  
"I love you too, Dan."  
He pulls back, holding my hands in his and looking into my eyes one last time.  
His once bright eyes, red and puffy and now pale blue.  
"Bye Dan." He says gently pulling his hands out of mine. I watch as he slowly disappears down the stairs.  
"Bye Phil." I say in a barely audible whisper.  
I step back into the apartment and close the door.  
I look around at the mostly empty room. 

That's it.

The tears start to fall and I can't stop them.  
I'm spiraling down into an endless black abyss and I can't escape. 

Phil was my escape. 

My knees buckle and I fall back against the door, sliding down to the floor.  
My heart is physically breaking.  
I can feel it pulsing harder and harder in my chest. 

I can't breath. 

I have to let my Phil go.

**Author's Note:**

> hello there! hope you enjoyed that! if you want to know a little more about me (though im in all honesty quite boring) check out my tumblr @exclusivegorgeousgeek  
> till next time my loves!


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